Functional Family?

In Development: So…. What Is A Functional Family Anyway?

How I Broke the “No Talk” Rule Through Conversations With My Sons

I am so excited and honored to be co-creating this book with my sons, Marcus and Jeremy.

It is our hope that this book will help your family to begin the healing process.

I found an excellent resource for educators: Children of Alcoholics: A Kit for Educators, by the National Association for Children of Alcoholics.

Research shows children who survive living in an alcoholic family have found one or two adults they can trust and who provide support to them over the years.

Many times, the adult who helps them is a teacher. This was certainly true for me, starting in the second grade.

A tool shared in the A Kit for Educators—which is called Seven Cs—is used to help young people understand they are not responsible for their parents’ problems.

Children need to know that it is not their fault when their parents drink too much and that they cannot control their parents’ behavior.

They also should be shown that there are ways they can learn to deal with their parents’ alcoholism.

Seven Cs

I didn’t CAUSE it.

I can’t CURE it.

I can’t CONTROL it.

I can help take CARE of myself by:

COMMUNICATING my feelings.

Making healthy CHOICES.

CELEBRATING me.

For additional info, please check out this website.

There was a time in my life when I didn’t care if I lived or died. I grew up in a very chaotic dysfunctional alcoholic home. Can you relate to the Dysfunctional Family Roles?

 

My Family Rules were: Don’t Talk, Don’t Feel, and Don’t Trust.

• Don’t Talk – I didn’t talk about what was really going on in my home. Whatever happened in my home was private.
• Don’t Feel – It was not emotionally safe for me to share my feelings.
• Don’t Trust – I could NEVER count on how my dad’s behavior would be. He could be very argumentative when he was sober. I coped by spending as much time as possible at school or my friend’s house.

Traits of a Healthy Family by Delores Curran. Curran’s book shows how to evaluate your family’s strengths and weaknesses, how to work on problem areas, and how to make your family healthier.

Delores Curran’s Top 5 Traits

Trait 1- The healthy family communicates and listens.

Trait 2 -The healthy family affirms and supports one another.

Trait 3 – The family teaches respect for others.

Trait 4 – The healthy family develops a sense of trust.

Trait 5 – The healthy family has a sense of play and humor.